immcupidi on Datingish

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Sunday, 21 March 2010

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell... But They Won't Serve You...

I just read the entire book cover to cover in just under a 12 hour period. I love it until about the last 30 pages. It was ridiculously funny in that I wonder why anyone would do this, and how did this kid get so messed up kinda way. It was disturbing that it was written by a 30 some odd year old attorney. I also wanted a woman to put him in his place. I can't see why anyone would worship this guy. Strike that, I can't see why anyone of average intelligence would worship this guy. But I suppose that leaves about 50% of the population which is more than enough to make a best seller out of any ludicrous chain of stories.

I have had my fair share of debauchery. But never so blatantly and disrespectfully. I know everything this guy knows, anyone can spot the most insecure female in the club-- yes the shorter the skirt, the more inflated the boobs, the youngest and the oldest, and of course how many layers of make up are a dead give away-- but what's the point in the chase if the animal is so desperately wounded? If your only prey is already rotting dead carcass, I'm afraid you're not much of a hunter.

I have been in some screwed up situations, especially romantically. Yet and still I didn't divorce myself from my conscience. Idk, the book kind of struck a chord because I think at one extreme is the notion of the male who can take down triple digit number of women by his early 20s. But with nothing to counterbalance that, what keeps you going? And just statistically with the number of crazy women in this country he got off relatively easily in my book-- although some of the things that happened to him I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy... ok maybe I would wish it on my worst enemy.

Perhaps it was funny overall, but it was also deeply saddening. I mean I know people like this exist. Hell, I'm friends with some of them. Maybe to a lesser extent I may have even been one of them. But they at least have some redeeming qualities. The book makes a strong argument as to why one should never get drunk. I've seen my tolerance increase ten-fold over the last couple of years... but that's mostly for professional reasons.

But, that point aside, I've made women cry and I've made women cum but that was never the END goal with any, eh... I mean with most of them. (One or two fat chicks in my life did deserve to cry for their shenanigans). When did women start allowing themselves to become receptacles, and when did men become so low class that they habitually took advantage?

Monday, 30 November 2009

Do Jerks Deserve One Another?

So, I was watching Nip/Tuck the other day and the current plot line involves a plastic surgeon, Christian and his beau, former porn star Kimber. The two have broken up and gotten back together throughout the series. The last breakup, resulted in Kimber becoming pregnant by Christian's son and marrying said son. And, Christian, thinking he had cancer married his best friend and anesthesiologist. Christian upon learning that the cancer alarm was false promptly broke up with his friend. Kimber in her first positive relationship of the series was dating a young doctor who made it readily apparent that he would've done anything for her. So Kimber, a jerk, left a perfect guy, 6 pack abs and total dedication to her. And, Christian left his best friend, the only woman who had seen past his total dirt bag ways, and even put her own interests aside to care for him and his son, when he was at his worst, throwing up from cancer medication, and unable to walk without severe pain.

The question I was left with, is do jerks always come back to one another? My story is strikingly similar. I am currently dating my best friend she is great for me and with me. We make a great team. With her I have accomplished more than I could have otherwise. Others who I have loved, remind me of the scene in Nip/Tuck where Christian took a line of cocaine off of Kimber's naked bum during a sexual romp. It was fiery, passionate, but altogether destructive.

But the question still remains, do jerks ultimately come back to one another? Leaving damaged otherwise perfect, and good people in their trail back to one another? If having to choose between a destructive but fun relationship and one that made sense, but just made sense without the accompanying "butterflies" and sensual passion that comes along with many destructive relationships-- which would you choose?-- Marital bliss with your perfectly logical mate-- or -- fleeting powerful emotions with a temptress?

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

STRESSED
- Friday... pregnancy scare. only test im glad my girlfriend failed.
- Monday...ran for President of school organization...and won.
- Tuesday...Meeting with Provost regarding rescission of my scholarship, i.e. cost me $12,500 MORE a semester.
- Wednesday...get a paper back worth a 3rd of my grade
- Thursday Give my first deposition. (and utterly unprepared been getting yelled at all week).
- Friday the 13th
- Monday- Court date about speeding ticket which could result in 2 points on license and hundreds of dollars in fines.
Let's hope I keep my scholarship today...
/edit
hear back about scholarship by the end of the week
29/30 on my paper!
and deposition rescheduled for 2 weeks!
and court date for speeding ticket rescheduled!

/edit
SCHOLARSHIP RETAINED ! I must have a guardian angel. Just keep looking over me... I need a 3.33 this semester. But would love, love, love a 4.0

Consider this an open prayer, thanks so muchh dear God!

Friday, 27 February 2009

I'm just not that into you!

Is it ever that simple. It's like dating is this game in which only the female players get a rule book. Men are forced into a place where we have to be ambigous about good things, and forceful about bad things. Why? Because if we say we are going to call you at 6:00, that all of a sudden becomes a binding contract in which you think you are entitled to some type of remedy even if circumstances render it impossible for that call to be made at 6. Get over it. So now, I've been trained to say, I'll talk to you later. Oh, the ever so profitable ambiguity that gives my mind peace.
But any ambiguities in something negative get disregarded. So when it comes to telling a friend, they are just a friend-- and will forever remain a friend-- it requires being blunt, sometimes painfully so. Why does it have to be this way? Why if a man is nice to a woman for any extended period of time, she is mentally picking out wedding dresses? I will never understand.
But women have this coded language that even they themselves don't understand, and despite reading pages upon pages and endless arguments and discussions. I feel no closer to understanding in fact, I feel farther away. Example-- how do you know a woman is not interested. If you get referred to with any sibling like nickname, and/or compared to her female friends-- you are dead in the water. Pack it up, game over. Perhaps ther are exceptions to the rule-- but let's be honest-- short of coming into some serious cash, or finding anothr girl u treat so well, that she ends up feeling stupid and jealous, or a total makeover (all of which most times do nothing for you being "just like a lil brother,") she will be doing her hair whenever you ask her to go out, or on the other line whenever you call her, saving she has a problem w/ another guy she wants to pour on to you.
But for the most part, She's just not into you. Is almost identical to-- she is really into you. The external behavior is almost the same-- but what's going inside who the hell knows? It was an okay movie-- but really who wants to be anyone in the film-- relationships-- things we all seem to be fighting for can't be oversimplified and wrapped up in a neat lil' kiss wherein he leans in, and she tilts her head to the side, both eyes closed envisioning this invariable, wedded bliss. But I was glad to see the flick was not overly Disney-fied, and did bear some semblance with reality:
The milk dries up when you buy the cow, if he lies to you about little things dont put it past him to lie about bigger things, ultimatums work-- for a short time, their is always someone prettier than you, don't be insecure about it he probably doesn care,don't ever assume a guy likes you, especially if you like him, because now the lens ur viewing evrything he does with is drastically obscurred, women's intution is a bitch-- she probly knows ur guna do something wrong before you do. Marriage is nevr the cure, but cud very well be the problem.

Monday, 05 January 2009

No More Hanky Panky?

Yesterday made one week without any type of sexual activity. I'm happy. As a man I think there are all types of double standards as it relates to sex and I want out.

Women are brought up with the notion of don't give up the milk, without making a sale for the cow.
But-- the problem w/ this line of thinking is that the MILK does NOT come free. So many strings are attached to the milk it's as though a spider has captured the milk for the kill. The milk is just not worth it.

Not to mention my sexual appetite has grown to all but insatiable levels. I found myself doing things I would never have considered before. Sex in a movie theater with people literally sitting in the same row. Or up against the door of the movie theater. With absolutely no protection.

My fantasies and actions have grown farther and farther from the "norm." Considering adding things, like annilingus, and sex while she's on her period to the playbook was a bit of a tip off that maybe I need to get out of the game for awhile. (Not knocking those who do, but just a few months ago I'm sure I would've been disgusted by ME doing these things, now just seems like a walk in the park.. lol).

Not to mention I HATE condoms. And they apparently hate me. And after some exploration there seems to be no other viable forms of protection, except the most heavily recommended-- abstinence.

So at 21 I am going into penis retirement...
Benefits?
100% effective birth control.
Regain some control of my sexual prowess.
Maybe reduce how much I care about sex, which I think it already has.
Get reacquainted with myself -=)
Free up some time.
Better concentration? this cuts both ways though sometimes since not having sex can be more distracting.
NO more pregnancy tests, or day after pills.
No more frantic waiting for her irregular period.
No more being made to feel like I am pressuring ne1 to do nething, because it was nevr that deep neway.
Really the last of three options 1.) not caring 2.) wanting to and now 3.) NOT wanting to.

What I'm not looking forward to?
-Wet dreams, ther is no reminder that you're not getting laid then waking up to surprise-- ur penis had sex without you last night. And now you have to clean it up...I sleep naked -=/
-I do alot of reading and when it touches on sexual subject matter I often learn things I want to try, I guess that's out.
-Whatever change it inevitably will have on my relationship.
-Temptation? Although I think for sex I may operate more like an on/off switch, and definitely firmly in the off position right now.

Oh well, I guess we'll see how this goes. I went 16 years without sex. But once I started boy has it been hard to stop. But I've only had 2 partners. And I don't think either were under the most ideal circumstances which I guess would be marriage (which I am not sure I want to do-- so I don't know how ideal that'd be for me). Or with the capacity of being able to raise children-- also not met. Or with equal sexual experience-- (I've always considered myself the "new learner," although neither partner agreed but I think that has more to do w/ women needing to be/feel virginal than our actual experience but who knows.) So maybe I am closing up shop.. indefinitely?

Sincerely,
Nervous-New-Abstainer -=/

1/08/09 -- mission aborted lol.